Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Ifaw says Whale Watching is more profitable than Whale Hunting
Iceland says Watching Whale Hunting is even more profitable
I think Watching Whale Hunters being Harpooned is probably the most profitable
Yesterday, the International Fund for Animal Welfare released a report saying that whale watching generates US$2.1 billion per year, far outstripping the profits of the whale hunting industry.
In response, Iceland's commissioner to the International Whaling Commission, Mr. Tomas Heidar, said that "Allegations that whaling affects whale watching have proven not to be true. On the contrary, whale watching has been growing steadily in the last few years after our resumption of commercial whaling."
Maybe he was just itching to say that if you combine the two and let people watch whale hunting in action, that would be even more profitable. But personally, I would pay top dollar to be on a tourist boat watching up close as a whale hunting boat gets smashed to pieces by someone's Navy while the happy whales go swimming on by.
Iceland says Watching Whale Hunting is even more profitable
I think Watching Whale Hunters being Harpooned is probably the most profitable
Yesterday, the International Fund for Animal Welfare released a report saying that whale watching generates US$2.1 billion per year, far outstripping the profits of the whale hunting industry.
In response, Iceland's commissioner to the International Whaling Commission, Mr. Tomas Heidar, said that "Allegations that whaling affects whale watching have proven not to be true. On the contrary, whale watching has been growing steadily in the last few years after our resumption of commercial whaling."
Maybe he was just itching to say that if you combine the two and let people watch whale hunting in action, that would be even more profitable. But personally, I would pay top dollar to be on a tourist boat watching up close as a whale hunting boat gets smashed to pieces by someone's Navy while the happy whales go swimming on by.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Gospel of Materialism
We are the afflicted,
the fallen,
and the wounded.
We are born into separateness,
suffering,
and eternal longing.
Our salvation lies not in the things of this world,
but that is where we seek it.
For to do otherwise would tank the economy,
and then we'd be really screwed.
- Chuck Lorre, Vanity Card #144
I like to imagine that this could be the daily prayer of some modern parody religion :)
We are the afflicted,
the fallen,
and the wounded.
We are born into separateness,
suffering,
and eternal longing.
Our salvation lies not in the things of this world,
but that is where we seek it.
For to do otherwise would tank the economy,
and then we'd be really screwed.
- Chuck Lorre, Vanity Card #144
I like to imagine that this could be the daily prayer of some modern parody religion :)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Talking to Americans
Last night I was at a former colleague's wedding dinner and the guest next to me complained about the American corpoation he was working for.
He said the guys at their New York head office always scheduled conference calls without regard for what time it would be in other parts of the world. This meant he frequently had to come back to the office to attend calls between 10pm and 2am Singapore time. In addition, the New York guys were frequently condescending when talking to him. He said they tended to treat anyone in an Asian office as coming from a technologically backward and unsophisticated third world country. He sounded pretty depressed and ended by saying that if it weren't for the difficult job market, he would be seriously thinking about resigning.
While I sympathised with his plight, I couldn't help wondering just how much those guys in New York knew about Singapore? He could try to have a little fun with them to see how much nonsense they would believe. If he really decides to resign, I would suggest he try the following:
1) Halfway through a conference call, he should interrupt everyone and say, "Sorry guys, I'm going to have to disconnect. There's a hole in the fence between our office and the neighbouring farm. The chickens have now found their way through the hole and are making a mess of the office. There are feathers everywhere as the rooster is chasing one of the hens. I'm going to have to call the farmer to get his chickens out of here and mend the fence together with him."
2) Pretend he didn't receive an important email and when asked why not, he should reply, "Sorry guys, there's a real computer shortage in this part of the world. There are 6 of us in this office sharing 1 computer and we're only allowed to switch it on for 4 hours a day to preserve its lifespan. I'll get that email when I'm scheduled to have access to the computer again next Monday afternoon."
3) Completely miss a conference call and when asked about that, he should explain, "Sorry guys, the children who run on the treadmills that power the phone company here got sent to school and all phone lines shut down for 2 days until the phone company could find new 8 year olds to run on the treadmills."
4) Call in half an hour late into a conference call and explain, "Sorry guys, someone forgot to move the sundial in our office today so everyone's schedule got thrown off by 30 minutes."
If you're sick of some ignorant pompous ass in some foreign head office, you're welcome to try any of the above excuses provided you tell me the result in a comment to this post.
Last night I was at a former colleague's wedding dinner and the guest next to me complained about the American corpoation he was working for.
He said the guys at their New York head office always scheduled conference calls without regard for what time it would be in other parts of the world. This meant he frequently had to come back to the office to attend calls between 10pm and 2am Singapore time. In addition, the New York guys were frequently condescending when talking to him. He said they tended to treat anyone in an Asian office as coming from a technologically backward and unsophisticated third world country. He sounded pretty depressed and ended by saying that if it weren't for the difficult job market, he would be seriously thinking about resigning.
While I sympathised with his plight, I couldn't help wondering just how much those guys in New York knew about Singapore? He could try to have a little fun with them to see how much nonsense they would believe. If he really decides to resign, I would suggest he try the following:
1) Halfway through a conference call, he should interrupt everyone and say, "Sorry guys, I'm going to have to disconnect. There's a hole in the fence between our office and the neighbouring farm. The chickens have now found their way through the hole and are making a mess of the office. There are feathers everywhere as the rooster is chasing one of the hens. I'm going to have to call the farmer to get his chickens out of here and mend the fence together with him."
2) Pretend he didn't receive an important email and when asked why not, he should reply, "Sorry guys, there's a real computer shortage in this part of the world. There are 6 of us in this office sharing 1 computer and we're only allowed to switch it on for 4 hours a day to preserve its lifespan. I'll get that email when I'm scheduled to have access to the computer again next Monday afternoon."
3) Completely miss a conference call and when asked about that, he should explain, "Sorry guys, the children who run on the treadmills that power the phone company here got sent to school and all phone lines shut down for 2 days until the phone company could find new 8 year olds to run on the treadmills."
4) Call in half an hour late into a conference call and explain, "Sorry guys, someone forgot to move the sundial in our office today so everyone's schedule got thrown off by 30 minutes."
If you're sick of some ignorant pompous ass in some foreign head office, you're welcome to try any of the above excuses provided you tell me the result in a comment to this post.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
President Elect Obama's First Act is to Buy a Dog
At a victory rally in Grant Park, Chicago, President Elect Barack Obama stunned supporters when he implied that his first act as the new leader of the free world would be to buy a dog for his daughters:
At a victory rally in Grant Park, Chicago, President Elect Barack Obama stunned supporters when he implied that his first act as the new leader of the free world would be to buy a dog for his daughters:"I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."
Reactions across America to this announcement have been mixed. Joe Notreal, a plumber in Ohio, said "I voted for Obama because I thought he had vision and wanted to change America. I didn't think his first act would be to buy a dog for his daughters. I hope his Presidency does a lot more than that because otherwise we'd might as well have just kept Bush in the White House."
Jackson Fakename of Tampa, Florida, said "I think it's great Obama did that. Now I can tell my children they're only ever getting a puppy if I get elected President of the USA!"
Obama's Campaign Manager David Plouffe immediately went into damage control mode by telling reporters that "President Elect Obama certainly does not intend to stop at buying a puppy. This campaign has been about change and his Presidency will fulfill that promise. The President Elect fully intends to start with buying a puppy and then move on to buying 2 cats, a parrot and maybe an iguana. He just doesn't want to tell his daughters yet. By the time his first term as President is done, the White House would have undergone significant change in terms of the number of household pets it has to care for."
Obama's Chief Strategist David Alexrod added that, "To begin the process of healing the nation, President Elect Obama may even consider buying a moose for when Governor Sarah Palin visits. As you can see therefore, this first presidential act of buying a puppy for his daughters is firmly in line with his stance that we are not a nation of blue states and red states but a nation which is quite clearly going to the dogs."
Monday, August 25, 2008
Olympic Doping goes Beyond just the Athletes
Beijing Olympic officials confirmed today that after last week's stunning discovery of 4 horses with performance enhancing substances in the equestrian competition, anti-drug officers have begun testing a wide range of equipment used by athletes.
So far, 2 tennis rackets, a pole vault and a pair of running shorts have been found with confusing amounts of banned substances. Officials are unsure as to what this really means.
Beijing Olympic officials confirmed today that after last week's stunning discovery of 4 horses with performance enhancing substances in the equestrian competition, anti-drug officers have begun testing a wide range of equipment used by athletes.
So far, 2 tennis rackets, a pole vault and a pair of running shorts have been found with confusing amounts of banned substances. Officials are unsure as to what this really means.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
This is Getting Out of Hand
Officials at the International Math Olympiad confirmed today that Iranian contestant, has been banned for taking the performance enhancing drug: anabolic smartoids.
Officials became suspicious when on the 2nd day of the competition, the contestant became so smart he could answer correctly before the questions were read out:
Question: In which year,
Contestant: 1995.
Question: Name the mathematicians who
Contestant: Goro Shimura and Yutaka Taniyama.
Over at the Beijing Summer Olympics, an American basketball player has also been found to have taken a performance enhancing drug - Viagra. According to one Ms. Chastity Prudence, an employee at the Happy Hostess Club in Houhai, Beijing, the basketballer's performance was immensely enhanced after taking the drug. However, as his performance in relation to basketball was not improved by the drug, the IOC Officials have decided not to sanction the player. The Officials have however felt it necessary to continue their interviews of Ms. Prudence long after the case was closed.
Officials at the International Math Olympiad confirmed today that Iranian contestant, has been banned for taking the performance enhancing drug: anabolic smartoids.
Officials became suspicious when on the 2nd day of the competition, the contestant became so smart he could answer correctly before the questions were read out:
Question: In which year,
Contestant: 1995.
Question: Name the mathematicians who
Contestant: Goro Shimura and Yutaka Taniyama.
Over at the Beijing Summer Olympics, an American basketball player has also been found to have taken a performance enhancing drug - Viagra. According to one Ms. Chastity Prudence, an employee at the Happy Hostess Club in Houhai, Beijing, the basketballer's performance was immensely enhanced after taking the drug. However, as his performance in relation to basketball was not improved by the drug, the IOC Officials have decided not to sanction the player. The Officials have however felt it necessary to continue their interviews of Ms. Prudence long after the case was closed.
Friday, August 15, 2008
2 More Athletes Fail Dope Tests
This is real. North Korean Shooter Kim Jong Su was stripped of a silver and a bronze medal for failing a drug test. Vietnamese Gymnast, Thi Ngan Thuong Do, was also kicked out of the Olympics for doping. She finished in 82nd place in the women's floor exercises.
My advice: Avoid whatever drugs Ms. Thi Ngan Thuong Do was taking. I'm no expert but I don't think banned performance enhancing drugs are intended to help you achieve 82nd position.
As for Mr. Kim Jong Su who got silver in the 50 metre pistol shooting event, I think his medals should be given to the guy who told him he tested positive and asked him for his medals back. Maybe it was a team of guys. In bullet-proof vests and carrying assault rifles.
I'd volunteer to get medals back from the chess team. Let somebody else give the bad news to archers, shooters, fencers, wrestlers etc.
This is real. North Korean Shooter Kim Jong Su was stripped of a silver and a bronze medal for failing a drug test. Vietnamese Gymnast, Thi Ngan Thuong Do, was also kicked out of the Olympics for doping. She finished in 82nd place in the women's floor exercises.
My advice: Avoid whatever drugs Ms. Thi Ngan Thuong Do was taking. I'm no expert but I don't think banned performance enhancing drugs are intended to help you achieve 82nd position.
As for Mr. Kim Jong Su who got silver in the 50 metre pistol shooting event, I think his medals should be given to the guy who told him he tested positive and asked him for his medals back. Maybe it was a team of guys. In bullet-proof vests and carrying assault rifles.
I'd volunteer to get medals back from the chess team. Let somebody else give the bad news to archers, shooters, fencers, wrestlers etc.
